Friday, 27 May 2011

ode to Fridays

  • a slow, unfocused walk
  • closing my eyes for whole moments 
  • entering the inner world of my clients and being in someone else's shoes for a while 
  • walking up and down each aisle, giving my full consideration to the vegetables 
  • noticing the faces as I pass by unencumbered and on my own 
  • the loose end jobs tied 
  • contemplating the state of my fingernails and my wardrobe
    • another cup of tea
    • home in peaceful order
    • 7 hours of being just me

    Friday, 20 May 2011

    19 (really??) months

    Lewie loving Lambie
    Alas, I look up and notice the time.
    About a month since I last blogged.
    About a minute since I did my last load of laundry.
    And a million seconds of L's everyday getting bigger.

    Today, my sweet sausage is 19 months.
    Closer to two years than to one.
    He is a boy.
    A mama loving, dadddieee playing, wheel-obsessed, charming small person.  He knows who he is and says no when he doesn't want something. Although he still says it so sweet (noo noo) that the novelty hasn't worn off.

    He discovered the love for stuffed animals lately, which melts my own personal heart into a quivering sop.  He kisses them, he feeds them (hello gross, stained furry mouths) and he gives them tight cuddles. Right or wrongly, I feel a certain pride that he may have learned how to treat his fuzzy pals in a gentle way, hopefully because we treat him that way.

    It is a reminder that we are his models for human behaviour.  How to manage not getting our way, how to be when we are tired, how to treat each other, how to take care of ourselves and how to interact with the world. 

    I must say I am enjoying this part of parenting way more then the wordless babe stage.  Now we communicate and we share and truly *do* things together. I feel and see the impact.

    It is tender and hard and lovely and scary.
    He sees us.
    He is listening.
    And is waving hello to make friends on the playground. And kissing boo boos - mine and his own.  And throwing things when he is angry. And melts into a fury when he is tired.
    Oh yes, he is watching.
    He is holding up a giant mirror showing me how I am.
    What a powerful little mirror.
    Hope I can keep seeing sweetness and be brave enough to change for both of us when I don't